In our recent whirlwind trip to the US, I noticed similar culture shocks. I also noticed that every social activity costs money, shopping or spending money is the main recreational activity, and/or one is always paying a fee to access various venues like parks or gardens. There is almost nowhere to simply meet and talk with others, and most of our time was spent in restaurants which served as meeting places with friends and family. There is almost no public space. I also noticed how much Americans talk about spending or making money. If they are not talking about their jobs, they are talking about their expenses, investments, and/or discussing various "good deals" they obtained.
My biggest culture shock was the sheer volume of stuff to buy in virtually every place one goes to. From the gift shop at Cracker Barrell to the plain ol grocery store or Walgreens. I was completely overwhelmed, often forgetting what I needed to buy, and ending up with a bunch of stuff I just grabbed because there were so many options.
As a service based economy, the US is quite pleasant to visit because you are the one being served, which gives one a sort of illusion as to the friendliness of Americans who are paid (generally poor wages) to wait on you, check you in, scan your items, bag your groceries etc. The food in the US was delicious and unhealthy, and I noticed after a few days my energy nosediving due to diet.
The police presence in major cities is also a bit of a shock. We saw nine police cars used to pull over one car, and the cops were everywhere, no matter how big or small the town. I had only heard sirens where we live in DK once or twice in the previous 3 months whereas the sirens are basically nonstop in parts of the US. That really stood out to me.
All in all it was a great trip mostly because we could enjoy being there without the hassles of living there, which is a completely different experience, and one which I do not personally miss.
I experienced so much of this, too! Especially the overwhelming amount of choice and stuff -- that's one of the things I want to talk about in the second part of this post. It's interesting that you pointed out police presence -- I was in a rural area, so saw none really, save for the ones traveling on the highway. But here in city center Aarhus, we hear sirens daily -- used to make our dog crazy!
As I was in a rural spot, I also noticed lack of places to gather, but not having to pay for parks, as KY doesn't do that. However, that inspires me to ask -- are you having opportunities to meet up socially with Danes? Do they talk to you? Because we have experienced almost none of that at all -- LOL.
Fun fact: I was actually born in Lexington and I went through basic training at Ft. Knox. KY is really beautiful in places. My parents both taught at UK in the early 70s.
We have had some social interactions but we also have family in the region. I joined the art co-op in Augustenborg and that has constituted most of my social interactivity. And we have met the occasional friendly Dane at various events and museums we have visited. However, I think a network of Danish friends is probably a ways off. At middle age and during the pandemic I sort of got over being social, but trying to be more intentional about branching out now that we are here. For me learning Danish and feeling competent in speaking it is going to be critical because I get socially awkward if I do not understand what is being said, and I feel sort of rude asking people to speak English.
What a fun fact that is! There are really stunning spots in Kentucky, for sure. I love flying into Bluegrass Airport - the descent right above all those horse farms is breathtaking.
I’m so glad you’re finding some friends here! We have found a few friendly Danes, too, but most of our friends are expats.
So agree about language! I’m still so lousy at Danish, and when I attempt to speak it anywhere, Danes immediately switch to English. My husband experiences the same thing. It’s very nice of them, but also makes learning difficult. We actually know an expat who is fully fluent in Danish, but he never speaks it because Danes automatically switch to English when they hear his accent. And he’s been here like 20 years. It’s wild.
Yes! What a good point: sepnding money is the main recreational activity in the U.S. My husband and I always talk about it. We live near beaches and mountains, but every beach visit or a hike costs at least $10 ($15 on weekends), and people think it's normal.
We had to pay for parks and such when we lived in Texas, and it always seemed wild to us because that's not how the parks system in our home state of Kentucky is set up. It's crazy that we've gotten so used to that! I guess libraries really are the only places you can reliably go to without any expectation of spending money.
I remember one of the first times we returned to Germany after moving to the States - my mom and I went grocery shopping and we were standing at the check out lane just chatting, people started looking at us and the cashier eventually made a comment about us not packing up our own groceries. We were standing there waiting for someone to pack up our food like they do here in the States - that service does not exist in Germany. We were so embarrassed but now we laugh about it. :)
Haha yes, this happened to me in London yesterday. It was my first shopping visit on this trip and I totally forgot to pack my own stuff. So embarrassing!
I enjoyed your article Meg. I totally agree that walking places in rural America are hard to come by. Safe ones anyway. I also have to point out that $45/15=$3.00 per post card. 😄
Forget rural America! We live in LA and even in expensive neighborhoods, sidewalks can be non-existent or broken. We moved to Santa Monica when we had a baby because I couldn't walk around with a stroller in our neighborhood in LA. What a shame.
That's terrible! Walkability should be so much more of a priority for city and community planners -- it's like the simplest, most effective thing that can be done to improve quality of life and mental health.
Welcome back! I had all the same shocks. And yes, you can deifnitely compare the U.S. and Denmark. Car dependency and noise are common all across the country... I never got used to it. And regarding mail in Denmark, my (Danish) husband explained to me that they just don't see the need in postal service anymore, since most of communication is electronic. They consider it obsolete. While we in the States are still mailing checks and writing money orders. Enjoy Christmas in Europe!
Thanks! That's an interesting perspective from your husband about the mail -- and for day to day things, I would be inclined to agree. But I'm sentimental and love things like cards, letters, and postcards -- I would love to be able to send more of them without breaking the bank!
Very interesting notes about your return visit to the US! Yes, noise in public venues is very disturbing. Friends and I choose a restaurant according to how easy it is to carry on a conversation there. And, good observation about driving--we know more about how to get to or on roads here than how to find parks and get to them. Sorry to have missed your visit here!
In our recent whirlwind trip to the US, I noticed similar culture shocks. I also noticed that every social activity costs money, shopping or spending money is the main recreational activity, and/or one is always paying a fee to access various venues like parks or gardens. There is almost nowhere to simply meet and talk with others, and most of our time was spent in restaurants which served as meeting places with friends and family. There is almost no public space. I also noticed how much Americans talk about spending or making money. If they are not talking about their jobs, they are talking about their expenses, investments, and/or discussing various "good deals" they obtained.
My biggest culture shock was the sheer volume of stuff to buy in virtually every place one goes to. From the gift shop at Cracker Barrell to the plain ol grocery store or Walgreens. I was completely overwhelmed, often forgetting what I needed to buy, and ending up with a bunch of stuff I just grabbed because there were so many options.
As a service based economy, the US is quite pleasant to visit because you are the one being served, which gives one a sort of illusion as to the friendliness of Americans who are paid (generally poor wages) to wait on you, check you in, scan your items, bag your groceries etc. The food in the US was delicious and unhealthy, and I noticed after a few days my energy nosediving due to diet.
The police presence in major cities is also a bit of a shock. We saw nine police cars used to pull over one car, and the cops were everywhere, no matter how big or small the town. I had only heard sirens where we live in DK once or twice in the previous 3 months whereas the sirens are basically nonstop in parts of the US. That really stood out to me.
All in all it was a great trip mostly because we could enjoy being there without the hassles of living there, which is a completely different experience, and one which I do not personally miss.
I experienced so much of this, too! Especially the overwhelming amount of choice and stuff -- that's one of the things I want to talk about in the second part of this post. It's interesting that you pointed out police presence -- I was in a rural area, so saw none really, save for the ones traveling on the highway. But here in city center Aarhus, we hear sirens daily -- used to make our dog crazy!
As I was in a rural spot, I also noticed lack of places to gather, but not having to pay for parks, as KY doesn't do that. However, that inspires me to ask -- are you having opportunities to meet up socially with Danes? Do they talk to you? Because we have experienced almost none of that at all -- LOL.
Fun fact: I was actually born in Lexington and I went through basic training at Ft. Knox. KY is really beautiful in places. My parents both taught at UK in the early 70s.
We have had some social interactions but we also have family in the region. I joined the art co-op in Augustenborg and that has constituted most of my social interactivity. And we have met the occasional friendly Dane at various events and museums we have visited. However, I think a network of Danish friends is probably a ways off. At middle age and during the pandemic I sort of got over being social, but trying to be more intentional about branching out now that we are here. For me learning Danish and feeling competent in speaking it is going to be critical because I get socially awkward if I do not understand what is being said, and I feel sort of rude asking people to speak English.
What a fun fact that is! There are really stunning spots in Kentucky, for sure. I love flying into Bluegrass Airport - the descent right above all those horse farms is breathtaking.
I’m so glad you’re finding some friends here! We have found a few friendly Danes, too, but most of our friends are expats.
So agree about language! I’m still so lousy at Danish, and when I attempt to speak it anywhere, Danes immediately switch to English. My husband experiences the same thing. It’s very nice of them, but also makes learning difficult. We actually know an expat who is fully fluent in Danish, but he never speaks it because Danes automatically switch to English when they hear his accent. And he’s been here like 20 years. It’s wild.
Yes! What a good point: sepnding money is the main recreational activity in the U.S. My husband and I always talk about it. We live near beaches and mountains, but every beach visit or a hike costs at least $10 ($15 on weekends), and people think it's normal.
We had to pay for parks and such when we lived in Texas, and it always seemed wild to us because that's not how the parks system in our home state of Kentucky is set up. It's crazy that we've gotten so used to that! I guess libraries really are the only places you can reliably go to without any expectation of spending money.
I remember one of the first times we returned to Germany after moving to the States - my mom and I went grocery shopping and we were standing at the check out lane just chatting, people started looking at us and the cashier eventually made a comment about us not packing up our own groceries. We were standing there waiting for someone to pack up our food like they do here in the States - that service does not exist in Germany. We were so embarrassed but now we laugh about it. :)
Ohmygosh, yes! It sounds like Danish grocery stores are like German ones, and being back in the US was such a change!
Haha yes, this happened to me in London yesterday. It was my first shopping visit on this trip and I totally forgot to pack my own stuff. So embarrassing!
I enjoyed your article Meg. I totally agree that walking places in rural America are hard to come by. Safe ones anyway. I also have to point out that $45/15=$3.00 per post card. 😄
Haha! I math so badly! But even at that, my total was a typo - it was $75, but I typed $45 instead. Whoops! Thanks for catching me!
Forget rural America! We live in LA and even in expensive neighborhoods, sidewalks can be non-existent or broken. We moved to Santa Monica when we had a baby because I couldn't walk around with a stroller in our neighborhood in LA. What a shame.
That's terrible! Walkability should be so much more of a priority for city and community planners -- it's like the simplest, most effective thing that can be done to improve quality of life and mental health.
Welcome back! I had all the same shocks. And yes, you can deifnitely compare the U.S. and Denmark. Car dependency and noise are common all across the country... I never got used to it. And regarding mail in Denmark, my (Danish) husband explained to me that they just don't see the need in postal service anymore, since most of communication is electronic. They consider it obsolete. While we in the States are still mailing checks and writing money orders. Enjoy Christmas in Europe!
Thanks! That's an interesting perspective from your husband about the mail -- and for day to day things, I would be inclined to agree. But I'm sentimental and love things like cards, letters, and postcards -- I would love to be able to send more of them without breaking the bank!
Very interesting notes about your return visit to the US! Yes, noise in public venues is very disturbing. Friends and I choose a restaurant according to how easy it is to carry on a conversation there. And, good observation about driving--we know more about how to get to or on roads here than how to find parks and get to them. Sorry to have missed your visit here!
Sorry to have missed you, too. Next time!